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By 2009, caught on and wrote a trend piece on these so-called “cougars.” I’ll admit that I’ve sometimes wondered if I’ve just trapped an unsuspecting boy into my web because my age makes me wiser and wilier.

In my experience, men tend to be praised for being on the older end of a May/December romance.

As the put it, “It’s a time-honored tradition in Hollywood for older men to date younger women.” Recently, Sean Penn, Mel Gibson, and Robin Thicke have made headlines for their younger female partners, but back in the day, Old Hollywood couples boasted major age gaps, too: Think Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall, and Frank Sinatra and Mia Farrow, with 25 and 30 years between them, respectively.

Those were the ages of Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore when the couple tied the knot last year, making their highly publicized May-December romance official.

But even though their older woman-younger man relationship may be among the world's most visible, it's not that unusual anymore.

This kind of heterosexual dynamic has become the norm.

Women partnered with younger men, on the other hand, are often seen as “cougars” who have cunningly captured prey, Freud-invoking mother proxies, or simply “crazy good in bed,” all in an attempt to justify why such young catches would be with them — as if mutual attraction, love, and respect weren’t enough.Like "playing the triangle in a Mississippi-by-way-of-Brooklyn jug band," or "Kickstarting a docudrama series he plans to direct, produce, write and star in" or "enjoying a long and fulfilling career that is also his passion and will never require him to do anything he doesn't want to do." Oh, dear. His lack of direction inevitably leads you to start sounding like his parents — sometimes at inappropriate moments, like when your top is off. He still wants to have intellectual discussions with you over dinner because he misses the ones he had in college.Sorry, I want to smash my face directly into my fresh rosemary pasta without discussing the recurring motifs of Francis Ford Coppola films. He can eat whatever and expects you to also be able to eat whatever.The much touted idea that women peak sexually in their 30s and men in their teens does not enter into it -- most of these couples are beyond both those age periods.But what about the notion that men are "hard-wired" to seek a smooth-faced, curvy receptacle for reproduction and thus are drawn to younger women?The first and most important reason is that dating younger is the secret of youthfulness. A man in your age group will either make you look older or simply like your right age (boring), while marrying and older man will make you look way older.


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  2. Unlike Japan, California is a true melting pot of cultures but since I had so little dating experience back home, I was nervous about getting into the dating scene in America.

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