I’m not the only woman who has bowed out of dating altogether.
Kerry Cronin, a professor of Philosophy at Boston College, made the news a few years ago by assigning a pretty radical project to her senior seminar. Something simple in theory but nerve-wracking in application.
So many of us have had enough ambiguously platonic “hangouts” to feel romantically hopeless—without ever even entering into real dating territory. I found myself in just such a situation not too long ago.
Tired of the disappointments, false starts, and no-gos that seemed inherent in dating, I swore it off altogether.
You get to play Cupid, and could even put yourself forward to date one of the sexy young things. Z-list wannabes, has-beens, and never-weres live in a villa and spend their days bitching about their exes, trying to get back with them, making them jealous, spying on them, or hiding away in the bedroom secretly masturbating over them.
Acting like decent human beings is avoided at all costs.
The guys are muscled morons whose only personality trait is the need to ‘crack on’ with getting a ‘rocket’ to ‘put out’ because they ‘wanna rump it’.
The girls, or ‘rockets’, may as well be sex dolls, with their characters defined by their relationship with some egotistical twat, and the only way they’d be of use to humankind is if they embarked on a career as shark bait.
Now, you can download Tinder and get laid in three easy steps: swipe right, send a romantic message inviting someone to your place – ‘Wanna fuck? No awkwardly staring at that one person who’s your type across the bar, following them, and pretending to accidentally bump into them outside the toilets. Dating has devolved from a romantic experience filled with chocolates, flowers, and arguing over whose paying the bill, to dancing with no pants for twenty minutes and wondering who the fuck is in your bed at three o’clock in the morning.
There’s no need to pretend to care about what your potential date’s dog is called, or what they do, or their favourite book, or that they practice an ancient martial art and could kill you with two fingers. Just grab your phone and arrange your latest in a long line of one night conquests, you LAD.
As we’ve become more interested in quick shags with anyone less than a mile away from our current location, dating shows have become more interested in showcasing those desperate to get their dicks or vajayjays wet and that’s about it.