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And just as easily, it can spontaneously degenerate when the magic "just isn't there" anymore. Love is the attachment that results from deeply appreciating another's goodness. After all, most love stories don't feature a couple enraptured with each other's ethics. God created us to see ourselves as good (hence our need to either rationalize or regret our wrongdoings). Nice looks, an engaging personality, intelligence, and talent (all of which count for something) may attract you, but goodness is what moves you to love. Just focus on the good in another person (and everyone has some). I was once at an intimate concert in which the performer, a deeply spiritual person, gazed warmly at his audience and said, "I want you to know, I love you all." I smiled tolerantly and thought, "Sure." Looking back, though, I realize my cynicism was misplaced.

Erich Fromm, in his famous treatise "The Art of Loving," noted the sad consequence of this misconception: "There is hardly any activity, any enterprise, which is started with such tremendous hopes and expectations, and yet, which fails so regularly, as love." (That was back in 1956 ― chances are he'd be even more pessimistic today.) So what is love ― real, lasting love? What we value most in ourselves, we value most in others.

OKCupid isn’t just the best free dating site — we discovered it’s the best online dating site period.

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That higher sex drive translates, among other things, into being more direct with men.

The more mature women may be interested in dating a younger guy out of sheer curiosity of what it feels like dating someone younger, and also because usually younger guys are more “agile,” active, energetic.

That’s not great when you consider the 70-plus results OKCupid served up for us, but it was better than any other site we looked at.

We also received the highest percentage of messages we rated “good.” While all of OKCupid’s main features — messaging, viewing profiles, answering questions — are free, there is a paid option for those looking to get a little more out of their search.

Thats when I got suspecious and I came here and found her.

I then contacted the real Melissa Harrington in Lincoln, Nebraska, who verified the photos and made arrangements to have her removed from singlesnet. Baird (USA) Report N4 (added on October, 12, 2007) Met this girl two days ago on justsayhi shes not asked for anything yet but asked me to delete my profile on that webside which have done for now she claims she is from mouldin, south carolina and is on bisness trip selling gems in lagos that got me suspicious so i looked for her here and bingo different name but same woman shes chatting on yahoo messenger with me and within the two days is in love allready gave me even more reason to look her up.i have recieved at least eight photos of her allready would post them here if i knew how too, shes allready talking about coming to germany to visit and dont think its going to be long before she will ask for help getting here.i also have our conversations saved i and would also post them here if i knew how seeing her here i am now prepared for whats going to come in the next few days.

She gave me the same song and dance about being from Ghana.

She never asked directly for money but did hint about funds for travel one night on a chat line.

Rickey (USA) Report N2 (added on March, 12, 2007) This girl contacted me at Cupidbay. She said that she was born in Ghana but has moved to England and now she was back in Ghana to study. The real Melissa is 24 years and lives in Lincoln, Nebraska, United States.

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