Muriungi goes ahead to explain that circumstances such as one or both partners being in school or out of the country, lack of finances or lack of support from family can also affect the dating period.
“A man will not propose to his girl before he is sure he can maintain a family.
If a couple is still finding lots of reasons not to marry after four or more years, then that’s usually because they’re subconsciously picking up on problems or even thinking that they themselves aren’t suitable for marriage, ever.” Makes perfect sense to me.
“If you really want to earn some brownie points, you could pop the question a few months earlier as this research shows that’s when women think it’s the perfect time to get engaged.” The poll also revealed that one in ten has even set a time limit on when they get engaged and if their partner hasn’t agreed to marry before the self-imposed deadline, more than 75 per cent would end the relationship.
Marriage is about commitment; the length of dating does not matter. A baby takes nine months before being born; a good relationship should take the same. Three-year anniversary Alexandra Campos of the National Wedding Show said: “Men everywhere should be getting ready to buy that ring and get down on one knee if they are anywhere near the three-year anniversary.
People who have goals to get married in the next three years may not waste a lot of time during dating like those who are in no particular hurry to settle down,” says Anthony Muriungi a teacher in Nairobi.
Other Factors A lot of people though believe that the ideal dating period, dating here defined as the period of going out before making a commitment towards marriage, should not be defined by any hard or fast rules. And it will depend on different things, like how much time you spend together, your past experiences, your age and your goals.
By the same token, if one party is really delaying marriage (going beyond 4 years), then it’s not a matter of being cautious, it’s a sign that he/she doesn’t really want to get married.
Other useful takeaways: •Happily married couples shared many traits, including courtships that progressed smoothly toward marriage with little drama; their courtships had a quiet, romantic feeling, but as important, they sensed they were marrying someone who could be a good friend.
One in five men admitted they have performed the cliched 'pretending to stretch' trick to make their first move on a date, while just over 20 per cent of men and women said they touch an arm or a knee to initiate closer contact.
'Making a great impression on a first date, whether that means covering the bill, a warm greeting or simply picking an interesting activity, can make all the difference in the early days of a relationship,' explains Courtney Osgood of Paint Nite.
Another reader – who was attempting to shoot down my assertion that you should ideally wait 2-3 years before getting engaged – sent me a link to a super-informative article.