But I thought it was an important question, which is why I want to analyze it with you. I made the conscious decision to move on instantly.The only “right” answer is “whenever it feels right, as long as you’re not hurting anybody else.” The thing is: you might be surprised when you’re hurting someone else. The best example I can provide is from my own life. To me, it was the equivalent of being fired from a job. I was in no position to be a boyfriend to anyone but my beloved ex-girlfriend. My need to move on superseded her need to be with an emotionally available guy…. If so – if you’ve mourned, if you’ve healed, if you’ve made peace – then you’re ready whenever you say you’re ready.
For example, it’s been said (and some folks believe) that it takes half the total time you went out with someone to get over your former partner.
In reality, however, moving on itself has no clear-cut rules or timelines, and can often be a difficult process.
If I could invent a pill that would cure heartbreak, I would be a rich woman.
Some of my clients will even jokingly ask me for one in the weeks and months following a breakup.
Unfortunately, there are no simple remedies, and at times, uncomfortable feelings and regret also come along for the ride.
Regardless, some people may put a lot of blind faith into certain defined "break-up rules" in the hopes that they will feel better and move on soon. Is it okay for me to date when I'm not at all over my ex? There are really no "right" answers to your questions.Working through these thoughts and feelings may be the next steps that you can take. It's natural for you to be "not at all over" him right now, as it's been only about one month since the break-up.Don’t key his car, kidnap his cat, or destroy his stuff. Maybe you’d just rather be in a bad relationship than be in no relationship at all. Learn what you can from the relationship that just ended and move forward. Be thankful that the wrong relationship ended to free you up for the right one. And never, ever do something that could land you in legal trouble. There will be times when it’s important to communicate with an ex. Maybe you have to deal with a shared lease or pet custody. Instead of clinging to lost hope, find a wise friend who can help you walk through the reasons why you’re having a hard time letting go. Deep down, you know that you don’t want to be in a relationship with someone you had to beg to be with you. Take some time to refocus and pursue the things you’ve always loved to do. (If you share the lease, deal with it like responsible adults. Resist the urge, however, to call or text whenever you would have when you were still dating. Ask a close friend if you can call him/her every time you would usually reach out to your ex. Besides, if your ex rejects you a second time, it won’t just hurt; the rejection will sting with extra humiliation and regret. No woman on her deathbed says, “I really wish I slept with my ex-husband one last time.” Let the break be clean.