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Specific information does more than make you sound interesting – it also gives potential dates something to write to you about. NEVER ADMIT THAT YOUR FRIEND WROTE YOUR PROFILE “I asked my friend to describe me, and here’s what he wrote…” is a cop-out. DITCH THE WISH LIST Some online dating profiles read like shopping lists. YOU MIGHT NOT GET ANY EMAILS This is a cruel fact of life for online dating beginners, especially men. Chances are that you won’t fancy each other, or that only one of you will fancy the other. It’s very unusual for someone to find a good match in their first few attempts.By writing this in your profile, you’re telling people that you’re not smart or self-aware enough to write it yourself. ZIP UP YOUR BAGGAGE Most living grown-ups have a history of exes, hang-ups and maybe a nervous breakdown or two. They know that you have a past, but they don’t want to hear about it. They’re looking for someone with brown eyes, short hair, between 5’10” and 6′, from north-east Birmingham, and so on. First, they make the writer sound like a control freak. NO CHANCE Don’t even think about posting a dating advert without a photo. Everyone who likes your main photo will want to see more. DON’T LIE WITH THE CAMERA An overly flattering photo will backfire. You meet, and the blood drains from their face as they realise that your photo was taken 10 years, five stone and 500 wrinkles ago. SEXY SNAPS WILL GET YOU NOWHERE Whether you’re a man or a woman, a photo with your shirt off makes you look desperate and/or only interested in sex. DON’T FALL IN LUST WITH A PHOTO Use photos and emails for spotting potential, but don’t start fancying the pants off a two-dimensional image. More men than women advertise on most dating sites, so the girls get the pick of the bunch. Read the profiles that get most views, and pick up tips from them. See it all as experience, not as proof that you’re a loser (or that everyone else is a loser).

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Make yourself available to who you might meet and where the evening could take you."The more you're open to letting guys show you all the different sides of themselves, the more likely you'll surprise yourself and fall in love with one of them," Massa explains. Finally, you and The Prospective Boyfriend are doing something romantic that could lead to something serious.

Remember that he's already your friend, so there's a whole lot that he likes about you, Massa says. That means no crazy makeup or boob shirts when he's used to seeing you casual.

"The amount of times that people are approached when they have photos is multitudes more than when they don't," says Gian Gonzaga, Ph D, e Harmony's senior director of research and development and head of e Harmony Labs. Leave behind group shots, which can make it confusing for other people to identify you, advises Spira, and choose a headshot in which you are smiling.

"Your primary photo should be all about you." She recommends posting between three to five photos only—any more and "it's as if you're already smothering your future partner." Also, be sure to include a shot where you can see your body.

"Your gaggle is the group of guys who you might not be 'dating' or in a defined relationship with, but who fulfill some sort of need in your life," Massa explains.

"They are helping you figure out who you are, what you want, and what type of man you ultimately desire." These dudes can include The Hot Sex Prospect, The Career Booster, and The Ex-Boyfriend Who's Still Around.If you’re both adults, single and you use protection, it’s your choice – but if you’d rather not, that’s your choice too. If you like someone, you have nothing to lose by letting them know.If they are interested, they’ll be happy that you called.If any of you are single dads, then you know that priorities shift when you have children.Some of these women will be both career women and single moms, at which they will truly be challenged with time to date you. Forget that stuff about playing hard to get, expecting the man to pay, and never having sex on a first date. MODESTY IS A TURN-OFF Many dating profiles start with statements like: “I’m no good at this kind of thing”. If you put yourself down, you won’t sound attractively self-effacing. Instead of saying that you like sunsets, mention the best sunset you’ve ever seen. You don’t have to write someone an epic love letter (please don’t) – just pick out a couple of appealing points in their ad and write a quick intro email. You may think you’re “connecting”, but you can’t judge chemistry unless you meet up.

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