Recovering addicts don’t expect perfection in their partners, having learned firsthand that it doesn’t exist.And they have committed – in recovery and in life – to honesty and integrity and making decisions in accordance with their values.Healthy Recovery, Healthy Relationships Most recovering addicts aren’t strangers to therapy and, as a result, have spent a lot of time working on themselves and their relationships.
Many PIRs [people in recovery] also need help establishing healthy relationships.
Some PIRs come from unhappy families in which emotional or physical abuse and addiction were common.
After dating one dud after another, you finally find someone who seems to have it all – thoughtful, witty, responsible – and good-looking to boot.
Then they drop a bomb: “I used to be a drug addict.” They may as well have said, “I’m married.” But does one partner being in recovery automatically spell doom for a relationship?
So there really is no hard and fast rule here – but there are some things you should think about before getting more deeply involved with someone in recovery.
And if you do decide to date someone with a history of drug or alcohol use, there are a number of signs you must watch out for in order to make sure your new partner is living up to his or her promises of sobriety.
When they finally manage to get past all of the chemical baggage that they had been carrying with them for so long, what you will find in most instances is that former addicts have just as many outstanding qualities as anyone else, and this can make them a joy to be around for family and friends alike. Is it wise to form a more intimate connection with an ex-addict or alcoholic, no matter how dramatically they appear to have turned their lives around?
In looking at the experiences of others, what we can say is that many who have formed romantic partnerships with former substance abusers have come to regret that decision immensely, while others have been able to establish satisfying permanent relationships with those who have successfully put their past addictions behind them.
While some people can easily relate to and embrace the fact that everyone has a past, others can find it hard to reconcile the two.
If you’ve decided to move forward with the relationship, here are some dos and don’ts that will make dating someone in recovery a lot easier for both of you.
Men and women learn a lot in recovery, not just about staying sober but living a happy, satisfying life.