That first real relationship would be one of many where my black womanhood became a liability.
My girlfriend and I get there and we’re impressed by the scene.
It’s actually as it looks on the venue website: breezy, fun, loungy and inviting.
Win.” So I slip on a cute summer date dress (something that’s chic enough to wear to win, but can easily convert into a casually flirty look for after work).
Lipstick poppin’, hair in check, I am feeling–and looking–fierce (if I must say so myself).
It’s happy hour when we get there, so we both get light drinks (very light, since these discounted drinks were quite watered down).
It’s early, so we do a quick lap around the venue to scope the scene and make sure we’ve seen everyone who was there at the time.In one of my first “real” relationships, my then high school boyfriend– a popular jock– cheated on me with a White girl.Then he broke up with me to make things official with her. It would be almost a decade until I found the answer to that question in a book called Is Marriage For White People.One dating expert said “If you are a black woman on and you’re not going to initiate contact then you are not going to date.That’s just the reality.”To get any response at all, black women have to reach out roughly 1.5 times the amount of any other group — and they are still the group that’s the least responded to.While the books illuminated the statistics that helped me to better understand these issues on a macro, societal issue, I was long acquainted with the limited dating and marriage options black women have through personal experience.